What if I can't keep up?

Listen, we are hashers. We are the lowest form of runner. If all the various running/athletic clubs in the world had a relay race, the Hash team would be dead fucking last (DFL!) every single time. But we’d also have the most fun on the way to the finish line if we were even able to find it. Yes, we have some fast people, but we also have plenty of slower runners and walkers, and the whole point of the hash is to have them run a trail that ensures everyone reaches the checkpoints at roughly the same time – no one gets left behind.

What should I expect at my first hash?

Aside from all the running and drinking described elsewhere on this page, be prepared for a lot of crude, vulgar humor, intrusive questions about your masturbation habits, downing a beverage in front of a bunch of singing idiots, possibly even seeing some nudity... etc. You know, basic running club stuff. This group certainly isn’t for everyone (i.e. the easily offended), but we're a pretty progressive bunch, so we try to keep things vaguely PC here. If you can handle the above and your personality is more of the “that’s what she said” type, you’ll probably have a lot of fun and a lot of laughs.

Where is everybody?

Hashers are not known for their punctuality. If you get to a 2:00pm event at 2:00 on the nose, you’re probably the first one there. The trail doesn't actually start until about 30 minutes after the posted start time; we usually hang out a bit beforehand and have a beer (or several). Wait a few minutes and we’ll start trickling in. We’re generally the weirdest looking people at the establishment. Look for people wearing kilts, knee-high socks, a plunger, a large pink chain, costumes, or just running gear in general. If all else fails, yell “R U?!” and if there are hashers in earshot, you will find them quickly.

How long are the trails?

Our trails are usually 3-5 miles, with the average being around 4. There is a lot of stopping on the way, and you'll probably go at most about 2 miles (usually less) before some sort of stop with refreshments where everyone will regroup.

How long does a hash last?

It really depends on the hares, the length of the trail they lay, and how many stops are along the way. On average, a trail usually lasts about 2-3 hours start to finish. After the hash, most of us will usually hang out at a nearby bar for a while.

Do I have to run? Can I walk?

Most hashers run, lightly jog, or run/walk, but we usually have a group of walkers on trail as well. If you can maintain a pace just barely over a normal walk between stops, you'll keep up.

I'm a good runner; will this be too easy?

Run as fast or slow as you want. The fast bastards up front will hit all the false trails and might end up running 5-6 miles on a 4-mile trail. Those who choose to can be running constantly between beer stops, and some of us do. Run fast and you'll get a workout (and maybe an extra beer at the end).

Do I have to drink?

At no point will you be forced or coerced to drink (some hashers don't drink at all). However, it might be encouraged at certain points; after all, we are known as a “drinking club with a running problem”. Water and other Non-Alcoholic options are almost always available at trail start and end, but if you want water on trail or gluten intolerant or whatever, it’d probably be best to not rely on the hares to bring other options than beer on trail and bring your own.

What is Hash Cash and how much do I owe?

Virgins (first timers) and hares hash for free. Everyone else pays $5 Hash Cash for yellow beer (whatevers cheap this week) or $8 for “craft” (think $1 per can “craft” beer) before each hash to pay for beer, cider, water, trail materials, websites, and other hash-related expenses. No cash? Venmo is usually available. Do note, $8 beer is for circle (start and end of trail) ONLY. Trail beer is trail beer, think of it as a $3 upcharge for better circle beer.

"Hash"? As in the drug?

No. The Brits who started Hashing in 1938 in Malaysia lived in a building known as the "Hash House", named for its food. They invented a drunken game of hares and hounds and so they became the "Hash House Harriers".

Can/should I bring a friend?

Sure. Anyone over 21 can show up; we have no explicit membership restricting that. Bring a buddy (bring six!) or show up alone. Your call. (But if you actually are bringing six newbies, give us a heads up to make sure we have enough beer to go around.)

Can I bring my dog?

First and foremost, only if your dog is very well-behaved and can handle crowds of strangers and other dogs. There will be a group of drunk hashers who all want to pet and love on your dog, so make sure he can deal with that non-violently. If your dog bites/barks/growls at people or other dogs, leave them at home. Secondly, ask the hares on the event page if the hash is dog friendly - the establishments visited before, during, and after trail might not allow dogs.

What should I wear to a hash?

We recommend wearing whatever you'd normally go for a run in, given the current weather. Jeans and work boots will not do you any favors. If it's cold, dress warm, especially regarding gloves/socks - remember, you're working up a sweat running, but you will likely also be standing still holding a cold beer outside for 20-30 minutes at certain points. Traditional hash attire often includes kilts, knee-high socks, and other stuff that makes us stand out and look ridiculous, but that's obviously a personal call. If your regular gear includes logos or names of groups/events dedicated to running without beer, be prepared for a down-down.

What should I bring to a hash?

Every Facebook/Discord/google event should have a "what to bring" section, but it's almost always the same. That is, you should always bring an ID proving that you're 21 and $5.00 Hash Cash (or Venmo in a pinch), along with money for before/after the hash. Whistles and drinking vessels are recommended. If the hash starts within 2-3 hours of sunset, you should probably bring a cranium lamp or flashlight. If it's hot out, bring some form of hydration for trail. If it's super cold, consider tossing some hand warmers into your gloves.

What if it’s raining/snowing/freezing/earth…quaking?

We hash all year-round, including winter, somewhat regardless of weather. There are a few conditions that we generally do not hash in, but we try our best not to cancel hashes unless the weather will potentially cause harm to hashers or result in the trail being erased/buried immediately. In that case, we usually just have 'drinking practice' at the bar and skip the trail. The number one condition we do not hash in is freezing rain, which will not only erase the trail, but will give hashers hypothermia as they slip and fall on their butts. Extreme cold/wind chill/blizzards and severe thunderstorms/torrential downpours usually don’t stop us. We’re half-minds after all. Check the weather before trail and dress as needed.

What's with the weird nicknames?

The premise behind the Hash House Harriers was partly to allow military officers to drink and exercise with their subordinates. Using aliases allowed them to do so by giving them "plausible deniability" since they would not know the actual name/rank of their fellow Hashers. Here (and in most non-military locations), Hash Names are just a tradition, a rite of passage, and a means of maintaining some level of anonymity (some of us don't want our Hash life leaking into our professional life). They are assigned by your fellow Hashers in recognition of an embarrassing story, accomplishment, character flaw, etc. and are rarely "safe for work." We generally will not consider naming you until you’ve been to at least 5 hashes and hared a trail. Until you are assigned a name, you are known as "Just [your first name]".

Is this a cult?

No, why does everyone always ask that? There are at least 2 of the 11 markers of a cult we don’t meet. Usually. Probably.